A BIG BOY MOMENT...Well, we did it, we switched Dealey over to a big boy bed and moved all his toys into his room. I feel a bit insane for doing it but it was something we wanted to do well before Cohen gets here so we just took as big a step as we were asking Dealey to do and did it.

My parents kept him Sunday morning through his nap time and we switched everything over. He came and we told him we had a surprise for him in his room. He ran back there opened the door and was giddy with excitement. I thought he'd be excited about the bed, but no, what he was really excited about was the train set that he got for his birthday and we had put it back for this transition. About 30 minutes later he finally noticed the bed ad jumped in it. He seemed excited but I remained terrified of the night before us. We spent a bit longer just hanging in his room, he discovered how to turn his lamp on and off which I thought " this can't be good" but oh well.

So night time came and when we first went to bed he wasn't too excited so we told him we'd watch one show and then go to bed. He seemed agreeable so we watched a little Phineas & Ferb and then he said to us, time for night night. So Matt took him back there and he laid down and was quiet....so we thought. A few minutes later we turned on the monitor and we heard, ca-ching, slam, ca-ching, slam. He was playing with this cash register he got as a gift a while back. We laughed and thought, at least he's not crying. I looked down the hallway and he had turned on his lamp :o) smart right, he needed to see to play. We decided to give him 30 minutes or so and about half way through it got quite but we decided to wait a while. We went in about 30 minutes later, he had turned his lamp off, changed the noise on his sound machine and fallen fast asleep on his pillow on the floor. So Matt picked him up and put him in bed and we all went to sleep. He did fall out once during the night but climbed back in bed and went back to sleep.

So altogether it was a pretty good night, better than I expected I think but as tonight as come upon us it's been a challenge to get him down so I'm just trying to remind myself that he'll adjust, he always does and we were definitely smart to do this months before Cohen will be here and it will be second nature to him by then. Tomorrow is our first nap time in the bed, not sure how that's going to go but we'll see!

SET THEM FREE! We ventured out to our favorite park this morning because today is the first day in nearly two weeks it hasn't rained. It's looking a little gray right now, but it wasn't raining this morning so we jumped in the car and took advantage of the nice cool weather.

We got to the park not knowing what to expect since it rained all day yesterday and the 12 days before that. We were amazed as we pulled into the parking lot to see kids galore. All of them running about as if it was the first time they had seen a playground. Of course Dealey joined right in as he's been asking for DAYS to go to the playground. All these poor kids, it's like they've been in prison for two weeks, I would have gone crazy was it not for MDO. it was so nice to set him free!

Wish I would have had my camera to take a picture of the insane number of people there...next time.

What's your role? This is a question I've been struggling with for a few years now, definitely more so since Dealey came along. But honestly I feel like it's something I've struggled with for a good portion of my adult life. It's nice when your a kid, your role is, to be a kid. But when you feel the pressure to take on and be successful at so many roles how do you do it? Some role has to take priority but is it every changing or do you set the priorities and stick to that? So here's what I see as roles I have and one role I'd like to take on (in no specific order other than number one).

1. Mom
2. Wife
3. House Wife
4. Graphic Designer
5. Household Finances
6. Social Coordinator
7. Friend
8. Entrepreneur (this is one I want to add)

So where do you start? And most importantly how can I possibly do all these things well? Better than well, great. Because I don't settle for adequate when it comes to myself.

Where this whole discussion leaves me is confused and frustrated. Should I eliminate some of my roles? How? Which ones? They all seem untouchable except maybe number 8 but it's not one I'm currently doing, it's something I think would make me feel like I'm doing something specifically for me, but then the question is raised, is that selfish? At this stage of life is there anytime to do something that I feel passionate about? What would I have to sacrifice to do it great? Is it worth it?

So it's been a few days since we cut the cake and I found out I'm having another boy... It's been a few days of hard processing made harder by some ugly comments from people but I'm so excited about Cohen and can't wait for him to be here.

Sunday (not even 24 hours after I found out) I regrouped and decided on a color scheme and idea for his room. I was really frustrated when I first got to the fabric store but after 3 hours (yeah, that's right 3 hours) there it finally started to come together. It's going to be a totally cool Rock room, with a palette of soft grays & some black & white and a few punches of color in blue and gold. I will of course post pictures of the process and the final room. Lots of pieces to pull together but it's going to be awesome!

I mentioned his name in the first paragraph, Cohen, we've decided for sure on that but the middle name maybe isn't decided. Originally we were thinking Anderson but Matt thinks it's kind of a mouth full so I don't know if anyone wants to have input in the naming of our little one, toss the ideas out there!

Dealey started school on Wednesday and it was awesome, I unfortunately had lots to do that day and didn't stop but to each lunch so I was just as exhausted as usual, but tomorrow I'm looking forward to painting one wall in his room and hopefully taking a nap before I have to go pick him up. I have to remind myself sometimes that I'm carrying a package that requires my body to take a break every once in a while so that's my goal to accomplish much but rest even more over the next few months.

Everyone's been asking to see a pic of the cake, my dad caught this one which shows the blue inside...and my big fat arm :o)

It's A....we had such a great night last night surrounded by friends and family we got to find out what we're having...couldn't have imagined it any better. The sound is a little low in the first part, but the important part you can hear just fine.

THE DAY HAS COME....to find out what we're having. I can't believe how nervous and anxious I am. Matt says he doesn't care what we have, that a boy would be fun for Dealey but a girl would be a fun new adventure. I really want a girl, I haven't been too quite about that but obviously I'd be happy either way. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say I'll be a little bit sad if it's a boy because I'll have to come to the realization that I'll never get to experience what it's like to have a daughter. No cute clothes or fun hair, no one to teach how to do make up no prom dresses to buy and most sadly no wedding to help design....

I also feel a little scared about spending my life with three boys. Boys are dirty and smelly and their feet, let's face it, they're just not right. A girl would be such a nice balance. We'll see, I have lots to do to finish up getting ready for tonight so I better get to work but I can't wait to write again to let you know what it is!