Thursday, March 22, 2007

NEWdevelopments

Well, my excitement was short lived as we found out today Matt leaves for New York on Monday. He will get to come home for a couple of weekends but by mid April he'll be up there full time. I'm excited for Matt because I know he's excited about his new job and is dying to get started. I know I'll be okay here there are some personal stresses that come with this but we'll work through those as they arise. My biggest concern is that Matt is going to miss Dealey's birth if God would just let me plan it out, that would make it so much easier, but I've asked and haven't heard anything back yet, I believe I already know the answer.....sigh I know it will be an overwhelming experience and I'll be so excited about Dealey being here but I also know that I'll be in tears and broken hearted that my love missed this amazing moment in our lives. I hate to sound so defeated but it's hard right now I'm still trying to digest it all....

Thursday, March 15, 2007

LIFEdecisions

After much deliberation and tears we have decided that I will stay here in Texas for the duration of the pregnancy. It makes us sad of course, we were so excited about getting to New York before Dealey's birth but life happened and here we are making decisions that have nothing to do with us and everything to do with Dealey's welfare. I'll be moving in to a small one bedroom near my hospital so that when Dealey's born if he has to spend time in the NICU I can live close by to be with him every day. Matt will be traveling back and forth from Dallas, Vancouver and New York over the next few months. His new job is being fabulous about letting him be here as much as is possible. So while spirits are low about our "situation" we are excited that I will be 23 weeks on Sunday and that means only 1 week until we're past our first major milestone. I have appointments next week to check everything again and hopefully get a more accurate idea of when the hospital will become my new home. We're excited to see Dealey again and get new stats on weight and development it's just so amazing to me and I cry just thinking about how amazing it is that Matt and I are getting to go through this it's something we thought would only be a dream.....

Friday, March 09, 2007

BRIGHTmoments

With all the stress of decisions and facing months apart, today Matt and I got a very special gift. My dad arrived from New Mexico with our handmade, gorgeous crib for Dealey! So of course it had to be set up and we put in the bedding that Matt's stepmom Jill made! It's such a special piece of furniture and I just can't wait to see Dealey in it, his big blue eyes are just going to pop with all the great lime green and teal tones! Here's a few pictures for your enjoyment!



Wednesday, March 07, 2007

CAPTIVITYcontinues

I know the title sounds kind of daunting but it's not so bad. We had good appointments today. First off (and most important) Dealey's doing great he's still happy and healthy and I can now feel him punching and kicking me all day long, he's an active little trouble maker. His heart rate was right on track at 153 beats per a minute and they did a once over on him just to check that everything was still on track growth wise. The only good thing about everything that's going on is that we'll get to see and hear Dealey a lot more than most people get to. Today he was feeling photogenic and gave us some sweet shots, once again he was NOT shy at all giving us a good look at his "stuff" so here's a couple of pictures, definitely the highlight of our day!

Isn't he cute! sweet little profile with arms in punching position which he does often, usually around midnight or so. We're hopeful this means he's a night owl like us who likes to sleep late in to the mornings.....

Yeah so there's definitely no doubt it's a boy....huh? And he has a cute little heart shaped baby butt!

Okay so that what's going on with Dealey. I'm doing good, my spirits are high right now, I did have a little bit of a break down this evening but mostly feeling good. My surgery is proving to be a success so far and my chances of carrying to a healthy date are looking brighter. I am still on bed rest and will continue to be on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. The doctor said I have about six weeks until I'll most likely be admitted for the duration of the pregnancy because although the procedure is doing it's job as Dealey grows bigger and stronger my cervic will give and the stitches will no longer be able to hold so they want me in a safe environment so when labor comes it can be as smooth as possible. So what all this information has left us with is so much stress we just want to scream. Do I wait the 6 weeks out here and go in the hospital here where I am surrounded by friends and family? Or if they give me a small window to fly (which is a possibility in a few weeks) do I take that, only to be admitted in to a hospital in a new city with Matt working hard at his new job and no friends or family around? If I stay here Matt won't be here most of that time which will be hard but so would be being alone in New York while Matt works, travels, looks for apartments, etc. I don't know?! Then there's the actual move and the questions of when do we move our stuff. Now? Or put it in storage here or storage there? AAAAHHHHH it's just so much to figure out. I knew Dealey would change our lives and I've/We've been looking forward to that for 8 long long years but I had no idea he'd have such control before he even got here!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

CAPTIVITY : day 3

Well, I wouldn't really call it captivity it's definitely for a greater good, the greatest good in mine and matt's life. For those of you who know me though, you know that me and bed rest are not a good combination. Today started with some excitement though, definitely not healthy for me but it was nice to breath some outside air for a few minutes. At 5:45 this morning we hear banging on doors and a man yelling you must evacuate the building, there's a fire! We're like what? Fire? My first words....crap....so we grab all the laptops and the cat and head down the stairs, I was sure I was going in to labor at any moment and was ready to be pissed if this was some stupid drunk college student. It turns out it was a transformer that blew and overheated and started smoking. The nice thing was we were back up and in bed by a little after 6:00 am but I was hurting. Everything settled down and by mid morning we had got our sleep back and I was feeling much better. I must praise my husband for a few minutes, he's been so great the last few days, encouraging me in my "what if" times and cleaning the loft and getting it ready for a baby shower tomorrow that my sweet friends are bringing to me. Matt's just been so amazing I've never felt so lucky he loves me and Dealey so much and it shows!