no love for sunday or monday....that's right it's my least favorite season....football season. Matt even has Dealey all decked out in Cowboy's gear ready to go and grooming him to be the next Romo. Needless to say Matt will be MIF on sunday afternoon's and monday nights for the foreseeable future......sigh and I will be either 1. lonely or 2. forced to endure hours of football.

a stupid little thing called love.....so my therapist today gave me homework to write down reasons i should care about myself, love myself and believe that i have self worth. sigh. needless to say it's a horrible assignment and i'm left scratching my head and cussing his name. no i'm not asking you to tell me why i should give a rats ass about myself but i am curious why other's love themselves and believe in their self worth. if you don't want to leave it as a comment you can always email me but either way, how do people love themselves?

people hate : that's what i have a general hate of people. they lie, steal and cheat you every chance they get and just when you begin to let your guard down something that seems small can fuel the fire of hate. yeah it's a strong word but i'm tired of being hurt by people even worse by strangers. what happened you ask? well i bought a bunch of bath and body works soaps and lotions to put in the bathrooms at the church we keep all that stuff along with extra towels in the cleaning closet for the team to put out on Sunday's i went to get it all because i'm actually going to put it all out this week and it was gone....the cleaning people who come to clean the church took it....soap and lotion, they took soap and lotion, who does that and who takes from a church? ugh, i hate people.

creating a place of solitude : i've been working on a room at our house that's all my own, my office. a quite place to run away to, to work, to paint, to sew, to play the piano or to just be. I hope to find much peace in my own little slice of solitude. I've already begun my first piece of artwork my first original painting (yes i'll post a pic) and set down and played my piano a number of times....so check out a few pics the poem on the wall i wrote while in the hospital.

" i have to fight for a life worth living "

more blocks it is....i finished these for a client ( and friend ) of matt's and mine, leeann. they came together nicely and while all my other blocks have been fun and colorful. leeann's had an element of elegance to them the other's didn't it was kinda cool. the plan square might seem weird to some but they each had a square and her husband works on jets so that's his and the fluer d le is for her. i'm so done with blocks for a while although i have two more projects in mind for the future but for now i don't even want to hear the word blocks for a while...sigh those darn blocks who's idea where these things anyway?

" if i start with the belief that this world is a f'ed up place, it seems to be much simpler to find reason in the madness..."

FINISHED PROJECTS : WE BOUGHT THIS DRESSER THAT I SWORE TO MATT HAD GOOD BONES BACK IN MAY AND JUST A WEEK OR SO AGO FINALLY FINISHED THE REMIX OF IT. IT IS FOR OUR BEDROOM WHICH WE'RE DOING BLACK & WHITE WITH A SPLASH OF PINK WE TOOK THE TOP TWO DRAWERS OUT AND MADE THEM A SHELF FOR THE COMPONENTS OF THE T.V. AND WE USE THE 4 DRAWERS FOR STORAGE OF TOYS & DVD'S IT'S CRAZY HOW GREAT IT TURNED OUT CHECK IT OUT FOR YOURSELF....PS SORRY FOR THE DIRTY CAMERA LENSE :O(

" i can not do everything i've always
done, and that's okay...."


" i think..."

I FINISHED MY FIRST SET OF BLOCKS FOR A CUSTOMER AND WANTED TO SHARE THEM WITH YOU GUYS. I ACTUALLY FINISHED THEM A MONTH OR SO AGO AND I HAVE ANOTHER IN THE WORKS RIGHT NOW THAT I'M HOPING TO FINISH THIS WEEK. IT'S FUN BUT SCARY TO DO SOMETHING SPECIFIC FOR A CUSTOMER I COULD SEE DOING SETS AND JUST SELLING THEM AS IS BUT MAKING THEM SO PERSONAL FOR SOMEBODY HAS BEEN HARD BECAUSE I'M SO SCARED OF SCREWING THEM UP BUT THEY TURNED OUT FAB AND I CAN'T WAIT TO FINISH THE NEXT SET.

"life doesn't get easier just because
you wish it to be...."

" i cannot do everything....."

I MET WITH MY THERAPIST TODAY AND HE SAID RACHEL THERE ARE SOMETHINGS YOU NEED TO MENTALLY CLING TO EVERYDAY WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF STRUGGLING TO DO WHAT'S HEALTHY FOR YOU LIKE SAYING NO OR NOT FINISHING MY LIST SO I DECIDED THAT I'D START A NEW WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT BLOG POST CALLED "TODAY'S REALIZATION" I THOUGHT TODAY'S WAS PARTICULARLY PROFOUND AND IF I CAN REMEMBER AND ACTUALLY BELIEVE IT, I THINK IT MIGHT CHANGE MY LIFE...