Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I KNOW IF I ASKED ANY OF MY CHRISTIAN FRIENDS OR A "BELIEVER" HOW TO FIND COMFORT THEY'D SAY JESUS OR GOD, PRAYER OR THE BIBLE BUT WHAT IF FOR ONCE YOU WANTED OR NEEDED SOMETHING MORE TANGIBLE? WHO OR WHAT DOES THE NONBELIEVER TURN TO IN TIME OF NEED? I LOVE THE SONG ANGEL BY SARAH MCLACHLAN AND LISTENED TO IT TODAY THE LYRICS HAVE JUST STRICKEN SUCH A CORD WITH ME THE LAST FEW MONTHS IN MY SEARCH FOR COMFORT AND PEACE IN SIDE A MIND THAT FEELS SO TORTURED. WHERE WOULD YOU TURN FOR COMFORT? A FRIEND? SPOUSE? A SUBSTANCE?

REFLECT ON THE LYRICS FOR A MINUTE TO SEE A BIT OF INSIGHT INTO MY HEART.

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

4 comments:

Carly said...

Rachel- I was so sad to read that you are suffering right now. I have struggled with depression for many years, and have only felt that I "conquered" it in the last two. The one thing I have learned is that good friends are crucial. They are the family that you choose, and the people who love you for who you are without personal agenda. During my divorce, I had a network of friends that supported me and made the experience bearable. They weren't all there all of the time, but I always had someone to lean on. Time and again, my good friends have saved me during my darkest hours.

patti said...

hello...I've been wanting to send you an email but it isn't working...so you are on my mind alot since I got your message and my heart as well. I did not want you to think I was ignoring just wanted to send a private email but can't right now.

anyway, i have recently discovered something that clears my mind and allows me to find peace...yoga. I go two times a week...I have guest pass if you ever feel the desire to go.

hope to talk to you soon. Big hug~patti

Aron & Suz said...

thinks that help me relax or find solace when i need it most, in no particular order: alone time and a cup of coffee/chai at Starbucks and a good book or my journal, a walk, run, or swim, just something to clear my mind and get my energy up, a talk with a friend, fingerpainting and listening to good music (like SM; i love her, too), talking to Aron. i'm glad there are multiple outlets out there that i can engage in to help me when i am down. i hope you can find some that bring you peace, as well. xoxo

Aron & Suz said...

thinks?!? i meant "things." sheesh.