A TIME OF UNCERTAINTY: The last few weeks have been filled with so many ups and downs and today for me was such a milestone. To see this little baby kicking like crazy on screen. To hear the doctor say baby looks perfect in size and development. To see a strong beating heart. It made everything seem a bit more real. I feel like I can really get excited about this pregnancy now and start thinking about the future with my two beautiful children.

Last little hurdle to make it over is the surgery Monday but it's a pretty easy one and really the only major complication that could happen is if the dr. accidentally breaks my water but she's the best and she did amazing last time and she's knows I expect nothing less of perfection from her.

It looks like we'll be back at 18 weeks (August 20) for a check of the circlage and to find out the sex of the baby. However we're not going to actually find out that day we're going to have the dr. write it in a card and seal it up and I have a bakery that is going to bake us either a blue or pink cake both with white icing and we're going to have a little family get together and we'll cut the cake and all find out together what we're having! It's going be super fun.

I'll write a little update after the surgery Monday but I expect everything to be wonderful.

QUICK BABY UPDATE : We had our check up today I'm 13 weeks and 4 days and it was such a relief to hear the heartbeat. I don't feel completely calm yet about everything because it was between 14 and 15 weeks that we lost our little boy last time so a few more weeks and I'll be able to start enjoying this a bit more. We see the specialist next Thursday to check baby out and make sure everything is measuring correctly and is in the right place and ultimately to check my incompetent cervix and see what it's doing so far. They plan to put the circlage in Monday, July 27th and for me I think that will be a very defining day that this pregnancy is a go.

We're still supper excited and have big plans for how we're going to find out the sex of the baby (I'll tell you about that some other time) and we can't wait to call him or her by their name we have two girls names we love (and yes I'm hoping for a girl, some say I'm crazy, but I really feel like a girl would be an amazing treat for us) and we have one boy name that we love which was hard to come up with because there's so much behind Dealey's name we felt this one would need to be equally interesting (at least to us). So we wait we hope to find out towards the end of August what we're having!

Dealey goes in for his 2 year check up tomorrow so that should be exciting he still weighs 29 lbs according to my grandmother's scale which is what he weighed at 16 months so we'll see but I know he's taller. He's a crazy man and so freaking full of energy it's nuts. He can literally run around in circles forever and has at my parents house many times. He too is supper excited about baby as much as he understands. But he hugs and kisses my belly without direction almost every day and this morning he said good morning to the baby which was too sweet. So I'm excited to see how he does in the coming months as we start to prepare babies room and he can see some more physical change in his surroundings and in me.

For now that's all, I'll have more news and a new picture of baby next week!