Tuesday, July 31, 2007

* intheMINDofmommies *

The first word that comes to my mind is fear. I think this is because of my current state of being a single parent. As if getting used to having a newborn isn't hard enough trying to do it without the support of your significant other is torture to put it mildly. No shoulder to cry on when you just can't figure out what's going on. No one to share the feedings, the diapers, the sleepless nights and the fear that you are or aren't doing what you need to do to support this little life. I know these are only the beginnings of fear and it will take on many meanings as D grows up but right now I ask the question will we make until Matt comes home? 4 days and 2 hours to go and as D works his way through the 6th week of his life I feel like we won't but deep down I know we'll get through this (never allowing Matt to leave us again....yeah right) and Saturday evening will come and for the first time this week I will get to shed tears of joy instead of tears, of desperation, fear, anxiety and hopelessness.

What's in the mind of my mommy friends? What one word comes to mind immediately when you think of your role as Mom, is it the same word you would have used a month ago?

5 comments:

Matt & Rachel said...

and in the mind of cats....OH DEAR GOD. :oO

Aron & Suz said...

the word for me right now is: savor. i feel like I'm savoring my role as maggie's mother and have been for months now; she is so much fun to be around! what you are feeling is *completely* normal. i had several mom friends that reassured me of this the first 6-8 weeks of maggie's life. i want to encourage you to go back and re-read my posting entitled "musings of a momma" from december 2006. i think you will resonate with much of it! i just re-read it myself and realize how far i have come in only 7 months time. you will hit your stride, you really will. Meanwhile, keep holding onto the truth that you ARE a good mother to Deals, you KNOW what's best for him, and you put it into practice. And i'm here to talk anytime, along with a bunch of your other mom-friends. I apprecaite your honesty, sweet friend!

Shealynn Benner said...

Hey Rach. I *totally* get what you mean girlfriend! :) Especially having 2 kids... I have been through it twice. ;) Right now the word for me is... balance. Trying to find balance in life with 2 kids. I am still learning! I think sometimes it becomes hard for me that I am still learning, because I have already been through it, but I forget... just because I've had 2 kids doesn't mean it's always going to be the same. :) Parenting is a tough thing! Can be frustrating, tiring, emotionally draining, hard, and sometimes maddening. But, over all... it's rewarding, fun, a learning experience, and strengthening. Going through all of those emotions when your husband isn't home can be so tough. I know this, because I experience it all the time as you do! But, I just know that everything is for a season, which includes the traveling. It all gets better, trust me! Thanks for sharing, Rach! :)

patti said...

just one word...are you serious. for just today the one word is tired...b/c we have hit the stage of going and going and going. I must admit as tired as I get it's always fun.

My overall word- precious....this precious little one who has changed my life and made me a better person. THe precious memories I hold of this past 15 months. The precious smile that keeps me going and wanting to do more with him to show him all the great things that there are like ice cream and kitty kats.

Well, I can feel your fear right now. my first week alone with G was when he was one month old. Greg went to Atlanta from Monday and didn't get home until Friday night. You came by that week and I wish I could do the same for you. But I vividly remember the Thursday night...G would not stop crying and I needed some quiet so I laid him in his bed and at 10 and took out the trash. That was the first time he slept until 8 in the morning. So we both finally rested. You'll make it b/c you are a great mother and D knows you are the best.

Keep truckin' my friend...Matt will be home soon. Just be at the door waiting to pass off...that's what I did that Friday!

Renee & Sheldon said...

Well, being a mommy of a 5 day old, I would have to say my word right now is FEAR! Am I doing the right things, feeding him enough, letting him sleep too long, etc etc. And the ever popular question, "Why is he crying?!" We are both learning!