Today was a very surreal day. It started off seemingly wonderful. We were looking forward to finishing up our Christmas shopping. Dealey was going to spend the afternoon with his Mimi and D•Dad and we of course wake up each day now wondering if today will be the day that Cohen arrives. Then about noon it was if the world just sucked the breath out of us both. The day would not be quite the same, Christmas will not be the same and even in a way seems wrong to be excited about the life we are anticipating and ready to celebrate.

First we found out that Matt's aunt Margie died last night about 1:30 am. It's a total shock and huge blow to the whole family. She was only in her mid 50's and just seems strange that we'll never see her again or talk to her. Margie along with a few other Maples family members have a congenital heart defect that sometimes causes you to feel as though you are choking. It's something that Matt's 80 something year old grandmother has as well as his cousin. It's something you can live with and function normally with and as best they can tell she had an episode of feeling like she was chocking and this time seems to have caused her to go into cardiac arrest. We won't know for sure until they do an autopsy but at the moment it seems to be the only logical explanation according to the paramedics and the hospital.

After hearing this news I called my mom to let her know what had happened only to find out that her cousin died yesterday as well unexpectedly from an aortic aneurysm. She too was young.

It's been a rough year for both our families. Matt and I both lost grandparents that are very very dear to us and I just hate that this is how this year will end. With heavy hearts full of sadness, eyes struggling to hold back tears and consuming thoughts about how unexpected and cruel life can be. Knowing that we too must plan for the "unexpected" is just about the worst feeling. I don't want anyone but Matt and I to raise and grow our family through life, any other way just doesn't seem right.

If you read this and think about it, please toss out a prayer for both Matt's family and my family that we will all be able to find a way to cherish both of these women during this Christmas season. And for those in both families that undoubtedly feel a sense of hopelessness that they will find and follow the life that still lies ahead of them. I know all too well that sometimes it's hard to look past the misery of the moment to see the possibility of hope and happiness that can be yours if you choose to pursue it.