saying goodbye...i had to say goodbye this morning to my dear friend Christine she's headed back to new york with her sweet little girl eva. we so enjoyed their company the last few days and i was very sad to say goodbye. i feel like though i have a new perspective on life after her short stay here and have learned some new thoughts to keep in mind while dealing with each day. first off whenever things aren't what i thought they would be i just need to say to myself "it is what it is" there's nothing i can do about D having a bad day or being sick i just need to find the best way to cope and work through it and not get so down about the fact that it's not the schedule or the norm. probably much easier said than done but i'm determined to make it a way of life, after all on the subject of life it is what it is and the only thing i can do is try to help the situations i can help realize that there are many many things out of our control and reach and those things will be what they are. again a tough concept to first embrace i think but i again am determined to make it a way of life and mind. so first things first i know my life isn't as happy as it could be, matt and i aren't as close as we could be and those things I can help. Matt and i have to find time to work on us and i need to take steps to correct what it is that makes me unhappy in life be it work or home and in actuality there are things in both of those areas i've got to deal with and regain some control of ultimately regaining control of happiness in my life. if you've read this far thanks for listening to me ramble on about my life maybe it struck a cord in you maybe like me you too like to control your life and need to realize that sometimes it just is what it is and it's not control you need you just need to cope and move on. so to those of you feeling my words, i raise my glass and say here's to dealing with what is and helping what can be helped. here's to happiness and the pursuit of it. I'll keep you posted on my endeavours.